i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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