he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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