i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
