piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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