bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Boobs are out for the taking
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
