What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
