I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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