we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize