I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
