I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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