If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
