It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
