This is not my ceiling
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
