Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
