never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
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Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
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He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
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