i just had sex bonerless
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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