who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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