I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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