Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize