She said her name was "party"
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
