Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
