Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
ttyl tear gas
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Randomize
