new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
