careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
