SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
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We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
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Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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