UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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