I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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