11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
