so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
