She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
