this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
