He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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