Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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