I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
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Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
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Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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