That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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