i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
this boner is exhausting
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
