Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize