I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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