It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Randomize
