i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
The beer is more important than you right now.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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