new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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