my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Randomize
