I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
