life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
how does that bad decision feel?
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