Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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