So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
