Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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