the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
