You're my little dorito
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
