He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
