Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Nicole vs. Life
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
