you're like a bully in the Christmas story
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
