He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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