things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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