Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize