I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
