You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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