i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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