I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
