..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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