His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
