we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
